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While the idea of love, at first sight, may seem romantic, it is not necessarily a realistic expectation. It takes time to truly get to know someone and establish a deep connection. Instant attraction and infatuation can be powerful, but building a lasting relationship requires more than just physical chemistry. The belief in a single, perfect soulmate who completes us is a popular myth perpetuated by movies and books. This idea can create unrealistic expectations and put undue pressure on relationships. It is important to recognize that compatibility is a result of shared values, interests, and goals, rather than just a mystical connection.

Don’t…be in a rush. It takes time for a relationship to develop. Get to know the person and take note of any red flags or signs that the person you’re dating isn’t up for a long-term relationship. If it doesn’t feel right, move on. Remember your self-worth and find something more compatible. Do…take time to think about your absolutes when it comes to relationships. Use this to focus on someone that has qualities you are looking for when dating. Do…love yourself. The first step to finding love is loving yourself. Be confident and appreciate how amazing you are. Do that and it will reflect to others. Believe in yourself, believe in the beauty of love, and believe the right person is out there for you.

As soon as the stay-at-home order hit, the dating game changed. Maybe you got Zoom-date fatigue or maybe you’re now determining who to date based on vaccination status. However, what’s going on in the world doesn’t have to harm your love life. In fact, it could even be beneficial. For example, dating during a pandemic meant focusing on an emotional connection first, since the physical connection and new-relationship excitement isn’t possible. You got to know who someone was without spending time and energy doing the actual dating. You learned to build slower connections (plus, it’s more foreplay, you know?) and staying at home became an opportunity to get to know other people with fewer distractions. The past two years have changed us in many ways, and the way you date (and prioritize what you want) can be one of them. Reevaluate what you’re looking for and how you want to date based on the lessons you’ve learned.

For some guys, they go about this subtly. Instead of directly asking the girl out on a date, they stick around her and do nice things for her, hoping she’ll start having feelings for them. But in any case, waiting for a lady to make a move on you is a huge dating mistake. It’s a simp move. If you want her, just go for her. There are also a group of guys who have a fantasy about the kind of girl they want but don’t do what it takes to get them. And one of the major reasons for this is that guys often select the kind of girl they want based on ego. They want the girl that has it all. The looks, the great skin, the class, and everything in between. And because of this perfect ideal they have in their heads, they pass on great relationships. This, however, doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with having high standards. But be realistic with your standards. Don’t have standards that are only possible in your fantasies.

You don’t need to be an A-class mechanic, plumber, or electrician. But if you happen to have any of these skills, then it’s an added advantage to you. The point is that ladies like men who know how to fix things. And the reason is simple. For a woman, watching a man fix something that is broken is like watching a magician perform his tricks. And one of the reasons for this is that fixing things is not a skill most women are interested in. This is partly why women dominate careers like nursing while men dominate engineering or architecture. Hence, seeing a man do his thing, fixing broken stuff, as simple as it might seem to most men, is just an amazing sight for most women.

Ask for Clarification: If your date makes a comment that you don’t understand, smile, and politely ask them for an explanation. Sometimes I use humor to do this, “Educate me, can you explain, I really don’t understand?” That gives your date a chance to elaborate on the subject while you get the chance to better understand their values, perspectives on life, interest and a whole realm of other important factors while getting to know someone out in the dating wilderness.

Next up: Playing hard to get or waiting for the other person to make the first move. Besides outdated gender roles, these “rules” come from the idea that whoever cares less in the relationship is the one who has the most power. But should love be about power? It’s OK to care; we’re supposed to care about each other. So what does it matter if you “come on too strong” or “care more?” Be true to your feelings and what you want. Oh, and making the first move can save us a lot of time wondering if they like us back.

If you’re unhappy with your dating life, I can guarantee you one thing: You’ve probably fallen into a pattern that is no longer serving you. Some singles like to blame their lack of success on others — “There are no good single men left!” or “I just seem to attract shallow women!” — but the reality is, it’s time to start taking responsibility for your own self-sabotaging habits. It may seem like a fairytale at first. One week in they’re already planning a romantic weekend getaway, and by the third date, they’re uttering those three little words. But here’s the truth: when someone is pushing your relationship to move at warp speed, that’s actually a big red flag.

For instance, working with a matchmaker can be a game-changer. I can help get to the bottom of what your real dating priorities, values, and dealbreakers are, and then connect you with other like-minded singles who actually complement your lifestyle. Moreover, I help to separate your needs from your wants, which is a crucial exercise for setting realistic expectations and ultimately, finding happiness. If you aren’t ready to work with a matchmaker or can’t afford one, consider asking a trusted friend, sibling, or coworker if they know any single people they think would be a good match for you. Who knows? You may just be surprised that the people who know you best have a better picker than you do — because they can see from an unbiased perspective what it is you really need from a partner.